“Free”

The words I utter cannot be comprehended,

My thoughts can never be articulated,

The only ones that understand me

Are those of the same stature.

Captured.

Terror struck hearts.

Cries of agony ignored.

We only see the bars that ensnare us.

We hear them communicate,

While we seek escape.

The barred walls are carried,

Stored in a vessel amongst others.

Our obsolete future looming over us.

Our cries remain unheeded.

The vessel is opened.

The cries turn to whimpers.

The light shines through.

Sounds and smells from a distant memory haunt us with whispers-

Of a past or a fantastical dream.

We’re finally “free”.

But we live in constant fear.

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Faces

Quickly reaching for the faces that go in the bag.

Unsure of who you’re going to meet on your way out.

Weighing the options you have before you. You must choose one.

You sift through them. Look at one. Discard the other.

None seem good enough.

You put on the one that would help you when you unexpectedly encounter unwanted acquaintances.

You walk out the door,

And check your bag. All the faces in?

Good. Deep breath.

And, hope to avoid unwanted encounters

With a friend, a family member, or a neighbour.

Walk down the street and you spot a familiar face.

Stress, your best friend, sets in.

You rummage through your bag to see which face to put on.

It’s a family member.

A sigh of relief escapes your lips as you realise you have the right face on.

Your best friend is gone now.

A hundred steps later, you hear your name, and you turn around.

It’s an old friend.

Hi, best friend. Welcome back.

Meet Anxiety, another good friend of mine.

You frantically search through the bag.

Where is it?

You feel a knot being fashioned in your gut.

She’s drawing nearer.

Stop yelling at me Stress!

You’re not helping either, Anxiety!

You hear the word “Hello!”

You respond with the face you were looking for,

And avoided a catastrophic meeting of unknown faces.

Seeing someone who knows one face and not the other would ruin you.

Your companions decide to haunt you home.

You have the same conversation for the umpteenth time.

You cannot do that to me, Stress.

Anxiety, you were supposed to be on vacation!

I was overwhelmed with dread.

I know I have a plethora of them stuffed in my bag.

I don’t know when I’m going to need which face, okay?

You get back home with no other unexpected reunions.

Time to strip off the face and be comfortable.

Time to decide which face brings you the most comfort.

Time to forget about close calls with other faces.

Sigh.

You’ve forgotten which face brings you the most comfort.

You’ve forgotten which face disallows the pretences.

You’ve forgotten which face belongs to you.

Uncertainty

On a bench at 10:00 a.m.,

Isolated, whilst surrounded by them.

The professor delivering her well versed speech,

Which my ears refuse to reach.

She drawls on and on.

I would much rather sit here feeling torn.

Thinking of a future that is so uncertain,

Making my head ache with all the questions.

The future that fills me with anxiety

Is looming over me,

Mirroring the clouds that hide the sun.

What is my life going to become?

The question that will be bring me to my end,

Frantically looking for the sign that was not sent

By entities that should bring me hope

While I hold on to the rope.

Average

The feeling of accomplishment overwhelms you.

You have finally done something exceptional.

You are on a high that could make you fly.

Only to realise,

You have successfully attained the status of being ordinary.

There are the succeeders and the losers,

The average are thrown on a pile of “just okays”.

There are the intellectuals and the foolish,

The average are discarded onto a pile of “fair”.

There will always be someone prettier or, uglier.

Fatter or, thinner.

Taller or, shorter.

Better or, worse.

There is always someone who is more than you

And someone who is less than you.

The average are insignificant.

The average are mundane.

The average are lost in a sea of unexceptional.

Ever feel like you have accomplished something?

Well, congratulations!

You have successfully attained mediocrity.

Moulder

Three years gone by,

Like the blink of an eye.

As I sit and reminisce,

I begin to realise all that I will miss.

Commenced with walks in crowded hallways,

A disoriented expression across my face.

Sat on benches with strangers,

Who I shied away from, because of their demeanours,

I clung to the person I knew best,

Too afraid to get along with the rest.

A year went by,

With utterances of hello and goodbye.

These strangers turned to classmates,

Who all had stories to relate.

I opted to adhere to the people I knew,

Hesitant toward anything new,

Came off as arrogant to some,

Oblivious about the obstacles we were yet to overcome.

In the second year,

The proximity evaporated our fears.

We came together to get a job done,

This was where our coalition begun.

We strolled through the hallways,

Everything was a haze.

Bonds were made, too late,

As our time together began to fade.

The last few months have been a roller coaster of emotions,

As our lives are set in motion.

We sit in benches with more than just strangers,

With people who are more than just backbenchers.

I begin to regret,

Not acquainting myself sooner with those who I met.

I let the memories stay with me,

While we go our separate ways, and be free.

But, I will always remember,

The English Department, that was our moulder.

Pseudo Fear

Sitting in darkness-

Her heart was heavy.

Clouded with an unawareness-

She was consumed by self-pity.

Something was going to devour her-

In it’s fearsome way.

What was happening to her centre?

This feeling would not go away.

She sat down-

Listening to the the rhythm of her heart,

It’s beats intensifying in speed and sound.

Aggressively tearing her apart,

Within her, the feeling was breeding.

Spreading it’s branches-

It was agonising.

The feeling was making it’s advances.

She wanted to flee from her fears-

But all she could do was expel her tears.

A light dimmed inside her,

As it dawned on her that she had no one.

No one to talk to.

No one to share her pseudo fears with.

No one to cry to.

She realised

That there was no point.

Here I Stand

I stand in a field,

Surrounded by hundreds of my kin.

Brightly coloured and beautiful-

I attract the birds, the bees, and insects of all kinds.

The aroma I exude-

Draws many living things toward me, as they try to unwind.

Storms come and go-

Yet, here I stand, with my brothers and sisters,

Unharmed and unaffected.

Four-legged creatures, with vicious demeanours come and go-

Yet, here I stand, with my brothers and sisters,

Untouched and unmoved.

Days go by,

I grow,

I stand erect.

Nothing can ruin me.

Nothing can bring me harm.

I am immortal.

A two-legged creature wanders into the field.

All around me I see my brothers and sisters cower.

In an effort to hide and remain unseen-

They attempt to furl themselves, unnatural for a flower.

I stand tall in my place,

Ensuring them that nothing can harm us,

Not a living creature.

The two-legged being bends down-

Grabbing me by my lean stalk.

Terror runs through every molecule of my being,

Never have I been held like that.

I look around, as death tries to smother me.

Before I am able to warn my kin,

I ceased to exist.

My Beautiful Sister

Confident in herself,

She struts around-

And makes the world her runway.

Believing in herself,

She walks around-

With no obstacles in her path.

This strong, confident woman:

Is my beautiful sister.

Solving problems like a ten-piece puzzle,

She’s the one to go to.

A word of advice at the tip of her tongue,

She’s the one to talk to.

The smartest, the wittiest, and the bravest heart:

She is my beautiful sister.

Moments created together-

Forever cherished.

Laughs shared in each other’s company-

Forever doted on.

Mundane conversations, and exceptional ones-

Forever looked forward to.

These are the few things I do-

With my beautiful sister.

My confidante,

My companion,

My friend,

My comrade,

She is my beautiful sister.

Future?

What does the future look like?

Does it have a light of its own calling out to you like a beacon?

Is it full of embers straying away from a fire that you have to save from dying out?

Is there a torrent trying to blow out the light from a candle?

Are you looking for a matchstick that can light up the path?

Or, is there a darkness that seeks to swallow you whole?

Tomorrow is inevitable, it is looming on you,

Action has to be taken,

What do you do?

Do you follow a path that has been laid out for you?

Do you take the road less tread on?

Are you going to walk through the valley of the unknown?

Or, will you dig through the earth and create a new path for others to follow?

Thoughts 

Thoughts flee from the brain-

As I try to grasp at something that makes sense.

The brain which ought to produce these thoughts,

Fail me at this moment.

A dense cloud covers the nerves which carry the thoughts 

And the mind becomes a great abyss. 

Thoughts float in this abyss in a haphazard manner

And nothing makes sense.

Nothing comes to the surface.

And I try, but to no avail, 

To grasp at any random thought.

Any random one that can make sense of the things around me. 

But nothing surfaces from the mind.

The abyss which hold my thoughts, mirrors the world I live in,

The world, which I too, will leave at some point,

Just as thoughts have left the control centre of my body.

No one understands this world, 

We may try to.

But any questions answered-

Lead to more questions, 

Making it an unending circle of the unknown.

An unending circle of searching for a light in the dark abyss.

An unending circle of perpetually looking for more.