I make up my mind.
And race toward it.
With every step I take
The light brightens,
The flickers intensify,
The warmth that radiates grows to a pulsating heat,
The atmosphere thickens.
And it is at an arm’s length.
I reach for it and everything changes-
The light fades,
The flickers stop,
The heat changes into a piercing cold,
The atmosphere becomes thin,
And everything darkens.
Reality charges at me like a bull,
It hits me and I fall down to my knees.
I feel as if something is lost forever.
It sinks back into me
Like a rock sinking into a river,
The bottom of the river is my shoulders
And a weight has just been dropped on them.